God has blessed us with everything we could want, but sometimes we face unnecessary hardships because we forget to ask God for what we need or want. Instead of assuming what God will give us, we are invited to pray and present our requests to him.
Philippians 4:6 (NIV) Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
In the upcoming sections, we will discuss common reasons why we may hesitate to ask God for help and how to overcome these barriers.
Assuming Prayer is Unnecessary
Sometimes we don’t pray because we think that God will automatically give us what we need if he is willing. We shouldn’t let circumstances dictate what God wants for us because not everything that happens goes according to his will (Isaiah 54:15).
God wants us to ask him for what we want, so that He can answer our prayers (Luke 11:10-11; John 15:7,16; 16:23; Matthew 18:19-20; James 5:16). Asking God for things is like telling your parents what you wanted for Christmas. They wanted to get you something, but they needed to know what you wanted specifically.
John 14:14 (NIV) You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it.
When we don’t pray, we may fail to acknowledge the good things in our lives. However, when we see that what we asked for in prayer happens, it helps us realize God loves us. We should not be afraid to ask God for what we want, as the Bible warns us not to ask too little from God (2 Kings 13:18-19; James 4:2-3). If we ask little, we may receive little, but if we ask much, we will receive much.
Assuming God is Unwilling
Sometimes we don’t pray because we think God won’t give us what we want or that our desires are selfish. But the Bible permits us to pray selfish prayers (1 Chronicles 4:9-10). God wants to bless us and make us happy, with both spiritual and material things.
1 Timothy 6:17 (NIV) Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment.
God loves to give us what we need and want (Jeremiah 32:40-41; Deuteronomy 30:9; 2 Corinthians 9:7; John 16:23-24; Psalm 21:2; 16:11; 37:4; 103:1-5). It’s senseless to strive for something by our own efforts that we assume God doesn’t want us to have (2 Samuel 12:7-9; James 4:2-3). When God supplies our needs, he does so without painful toil (Proverbs 10:22; Psalm 127:1-2). We should ask God for our wants and let him decide what to give us.
Assuming God Doesn’t Hear
Sometimes we feel guilty and don’t want to ask God for help because we think we’ve let him down. However, God wants us to approach him confidently and make our requests known, even when we feel guilty (Hebrews 4:16; Hebrews 10:19-23). He gives generously without finding fault and has already given us the ultimate gift of his son, Jesus. We should hold onto our faith and trust that God is faithful to his promises (James 1:5; Romans 5:17; 2 Corinthians 1:20).
Romans 8:32 (NIV) He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?
Assuming God Demands Repayment
Sometimes we don’t pray to God because we think there’s a catch or we have to repay him. But we’re missing out on a free gift. In the story of the prodigal son, the father welcomed his son back without expecting anything in return (Luke 15:20-24). God gives us blessings because of Jesus, and we don’t have to repay him (2 Corinthians 8:9). Jesus’ work is enough to repay God for us. God is generous and does not expect anything in return for his generosity.
Luke 6:35 (ESV) But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil.
Assuming Our Faith is Too Weak
Sometimes we may feel like we don’t have enough faith when we pray, thinking that God won’t answer unless we have strong faith. However, in Mark 9, Jesus helped a father with his doubts and credited him with having faith the size of a mustard seed (Mark 9:17-29; Matthew 17:17-20). Jesus did not turn the father aside for his weak faith, but grew his faith by answering his request. By trusting in God’s grace to forgive his doubts and asking God to help him believe, the father was demonstrating a mustard seed of faith, and we can do the same.
Mark 9:24 (NIV) Immediately the boy’s father exclaimed, “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!”
Matthew 17:20 (NIV) Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.
Assuming Prayer is Laborsome
Growing up in a Christian household, we may have observed long, elaborate prayers before meals that seem too time-consuming to fit into our busy schedules. However, these rituals are not mandatory for prayer. A prayer can be a simple thought or conversation with God that doesn’t require closing our eyes or reciting specific words.
Matthew 6:7-8 (NIV) And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.
By replacing our anxious and worrisome thoughts with simple prayers, we can reduce stress and find solutions to problems (Philippians 4:6).
Assuming God Can’t Answer
When we feel like we’ve tried everything to solve a problem, we don’t need to doubt that God can find a solution we haven’t thought of. We just need to ask him for help and trust that he will find a solution because God can do more than we can imagine and nothing is too difficult for him (Matthew 19:26; Luke 1:37; Mark 10:27; Mark 9:23; Isaiah 41:10; Mark 11:24; Luke 18:27; Jeremiah 32:17; Romans 8:31; Job 42:2; Genesis 18:14; Jeremiah 32:27; Isaiah 46:10; Proverbs 3:6). Instead of worrying about how God will answer our prayers, we just need to ask him for help and trust that he will find a solution.
Ephesians 3:20 (NIV) Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us
The Shame in Seeking Help
Our society values independence, hard work, and self-reliance, which can make us hesitant to ask for help. However, God is pleased when we come to him with humility.
James 4:6 (ESV) God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble
HELPS Word-studies defines “humble” as, “being God-reliant rather than self-reliant” and “inner lowliness describing the person who depends on the Lord rather than self” (Biblehub “tapeinos”). God wants us to depend on him. He shouldn’t have to be our last resort, but our first choice.
Asking While Angry
Sometimes things don’t go as planned, and we may feel angry with God or resentful, especially if we suffer tragedies or lose loved ones. But even if we’re mad at God, we can still trust that he loves us and will answer our prayers. Our anger won’t last forever, and God even shows kindness to those who don’t like him.
Luke 6:35 (ESV) But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil.
Fearing Disappointment
Having faith in Jesus means we don’t need to worry if God is disappointed in us if our prayers go unanswered. We shouldn’t base our sense of God’s approval on whether or not our prayers are answered, as God gives us grace regardless of our behavior (2 Corinthians 5:21; Hebrews 13:5; Romans 1:17; 3:21-22; 4:5-6; 1 Corinthians 1:30; 2 Corinthians 5:21; Philippians 3:9).
2 Corinthians 5:21 (NIV) God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.
Instead of focusing on one specific prayer, we should ask God for many things and have faith and patience that he will answer our prayers in his own time and in the way that is best for us.
Hebrews 6:12 (ESV) so that you may not be sluggish, but imitators of those who through faith and patience inherit the promises.
The Bible says that God can answer our prayers even before we ask for them, and we should ask God to show us how he is answering our prayers and not be afraid to ask him to answer quickly (Isaiah 65:24).
Fear of Regret
King Midas made a wish for everything he touched to turn to gold, but when he hugged his daughter, she also turned to gold. Similarly, we may hesitate to ask God for things for fear of regretting receiving them. However, we should remember that God won’t give us something that will hurt us or that is not in our best interest. We should ask for what we want but also ask for God’s will to be done so that he can modify the prayer to meet the need without giving us something we’ll regret. The Bible says that God won’t give us something that goes against his will.
1 John 5:14 (ESV) And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us.
Fear of Trust
Sometimes we are afraid to depend on God because we don’t know his will for us and we worry that his blessings are unreliable. However, God promises to bless us through Christ, and this promise is unbreakable, not based on our performance but on his grace (Genesis 22:15-18; Hebrews 6:17; Galatians 3:29; Romans 4:4-5).
Genesis 22:15-18 (NIV) The angel of the Lord called to Abraham from heaven a second time 16 and said, “I swear by myself, declares the Lord, that because you have done this and have not withheld your son, your only son, 17 I will surely bless you and make your descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky and as the sand on the seashore. Your descendants will take possession of the cities of their enemies, 18 and through your offspring [Christ] all nations on earth will be blessed, because you have obeyed me.”
We can rely on God’s blessings, which cannot be taken away, and we shouldn’t be afraid of losing them if we trust in God.
Assuming We Aren’t Saved
According to 1 John 3:21-22, we will have confidence to approach God in prayer and know that he will answer us if our hearts do not condemn us. This means that we know we are saved in our hearts because we keep God’s commands to believe in Christ and love others.
1 John 3:21-22 (WEB) Beloved, if our hearts don’t condemn us, we have boldness toward God; 22 so whatever we ask, we receive from him, because we keep his commandments and do the things that are pleasing in his sight.
John wrote this letter to reassure believers that they have faith and eternal life (1 John 5:13). In the verses just before the above passage, John equates doubting our salvation with our hearts condemning us (1 John 3:19-20). This shows that the issue at hand is assurance of salvation.
John teaches that we can be sure of our salvation because we genuinely love others (1 John 4:14-21). The Holy Spirit transforms our hearts, and this love is evidence that we have received God’s love (1 John 2:1-2, 12; 3:16; 4:18-19). Thus, obedience is a natural outcome of receiving God’s love and not a means to earn his favor.
Notice in the following passage that our prayers are answered because we believe in Christ, not because we’ve earned God’s favor by our love. As a result of receiving his love, we will love others.
John 14:12-15 (WEB) Most certainly I tell you, he who believes in me, the works that I do, he will do also; and he will do greater works than these, because I am going to my Father. 13 Whatever you will ask in my name, I will do it, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. 14 If you will ask anything in my name, I will do it. 15 If you love me, keep my commandments.
In conclusion, John is not saying that God will only answer our prayers if we obey his commands. Instead, he’s saying that obedience is a sign of our faith and salvation, which gives us the confidence to approach God in prayer. When we are sure of our salvation, we know that God hears us and will answer our prayers according to his will.
1 John 5:13-15 (WEB) These things I have written to you who believe in the name of the Son of God, that you may know that you have eternal life, and that you may continue to believe in the name of the Son of God. 14 This is the boldness which we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will, he listens to us. 15 And if we know that he listens to us, whatever we ask, we know that we have the petitions which we have asked of him.
Feeling Conned
Trusting God’s promises sometimes leads to disappointment when we take risks and the expected blessings don’t come, particularly when pastors promise blessings for tithing. Tithing was an Old Covenant practice used to support priests, the poor, and a national feast, but it is not required in the New Covenant. Christians are not blessed or cursed based on their tithe (Galatians 3:13-14). Preachers can earn a living from their preaching (1 Corinthians 9:14), but there is no command to give 10%. Instead of tithing, Christians should give what they decide in their hearts, cheerfully and not under compulsion (1 Corinthians 9:7,14). We don’t need to risk anything to receive God’s blessings; Jesus paid a high price so that we could inherit his blessings through his poverty (2 Corinthians 8:9).
2 Corinthians 8:9 (NIV) For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich, yet for your sake he became poor, so that you through his poverty might become rich.
True Stories
What’s remarkable about these verses is that they are not mere words on a page; they are truths that can be experienced in your personal life. Years ago, I sensed the Lord teaching me the importance of asking him for anything I wanted or needed, without hesitation. After praying for various improvements in my character and relationships, I felt God challenging me to ask for things that may not have seemed spiritual or “churchy” enough. He wanted me to simply ask for what I desired and not worry about how he would provide.
In the following months, I witnessed countless prayers for material things being answered in extraordinary ways. I remember flipping through a music recording hardware catalog and asking God for a specific microphone. Two weeks later, my brother discovered that very microphone in a cabinet in our garage. We had no idea who it belonged to. Another time, I asked God for new keyboard sounds through virtual instruments. A few days later, a stranger at church, who was upgrading to Pro-Tools, offered me his old software, Logic Pro, which came with hundreds of free keyboard sounds. When I prayed for studio foam for my home studio, my grandfather unexpectedly called and asked if I wanted his old studio foam before he disposed of it. I enjoyed eating out, but as a teenager with little money, it was a luxury. On several occasions, after praying for God’s provision of a meal, friends from church would unexpectedly invite me to eat with them, offering to pay for my meal. I even recall a time when my family dined together at a nice restaurant, and I overheard my mom quietly expressing concern about the cost of the food with my dad. Privately, in my thoughts, I prayed for God to provide for our meal. To our surprise, when it was time to pay, the waiter informed us that the manager wanted to cover the entire bill for our family that night.
During these experiences, I struggled with feeling selfish for asking for these things and not feeling deserving as a “good enough” Christian. However, God reminded me that he gives freely, and he said, “He who asks for much will be given much, and he who asks for little will be given little.“
His words stayed with me weeks later when I found myself at a grand piano store. As I played various Yamaha grand pianos, my favorite brand, I recalled the Lord’s words and, with a hint of hesitant curiosity, asked the Lord for the finest piano in the store—a 7-foot Yamaha Grand Piano with MIDI registration, an expensive feature that allowed the piano to play itself. Leaving the store, I felt foolish. What had I done to deserve a piano? How could that even be possible when my parents and I couldn’t afford one?
Two years passed, and I still hadn’t received a piano. However, one day while praying and recalling my prayer from years before, I asked the Lord, “Is there any chance of getting that piano I asked for?”
Two weeks later, my dad informed me that one of his clients was moving into a new home and needed a place to store his grand piano. He asked if we could accommodate it, and my dad suggested keeping the piano in my room, which, at the time, was just spacious enough for a small grand piano. A few weeks later, a 5’2″ Yamaha Grand Piano with MIDI registration was delivered to our home, with the understanding that we would try to sell it on behalf of our friend or purchase it ourselves when we had the means. It was the largest size that could fit within our house.
After years of not being able to sell the piano, my dad saved up enough money to purchase the piano, but when he went to purchase the piano, his friend said his wife and he had been praying and decided they wanted to give us the piano for free. This piano remains at my parent’s house to this day and serves as a constant reminder and conversation starter of how God answers our prayers, no matter how big.
Throughout my college years, God continued to answer my prayers, even providing me with my first smartphone for free when they were still a novelty. With boldness, I prayed for a car, and a year later, my aunt and uncle purchased a new vehicle and unexpectedly decided to give me their old minivan.
Not only did God answer my prayers for material things, but he also faithfully addressed my personal requests concerning my character and relationships.
There were moments of frustration when it seemed like certain prayers took a long time to be answered, and at times, the answers felt like hand-me-downs. I couldn’t help but wonder if God could respond with fresh, new items instead of older or damaged ones. However, a beautiful example of God’s provision came about a year after my brother discovered the microphone in the garage. A friend of mine asked to borrow it, but unfortunately, it accidentally got broken. Yet, to my surprise, my friend went above and beyond by purchasing a brand new microphone for us. I was also inspired after reading the following verse.
Isaiah 65:24 (NLT) I will answer them before they even call to me. While they are still talking about their needs, I will go ahead and answer their prayers!
Motivated by this, I desired to grow in faith and boldly asked God if he would quickly answer my prayers. A few days later, during a Wednesday night youth conference, I found myself in the restroom, contemplating my aspirations to be involved in film and have opportunities to act and be in front of a camera. It was there, in that quiet moment, that I asked God for opportunities in that realm. Upon exiting the restroom, I encountered a film crew from LifeWay standing in the hallway. As I happened to be the only person nearby, they approached me and asked if I would be willing to be interviewed for a film they were producing. I agreed, and for the next few minutes, I was interviewed on camera. It was completely unexpected since LifeWay had no prior plans to visit our youth building. They explained that they had been passing by and spontaneously decided to stop by. Film crews rarely frequented our youth building, making the encounter quite remarkable.
Summary
God enjoys supplying our needs and wants as an act of undeserved grace paid for by his son. We often hesitate to ask God for what we need, but scripture teaches us not to let these doubts stop us.
Circumstances shouldn’t determine what God’s will is. Instead, we should pray for the things we want. God enjoys answering our needs and wants, even ones we may consider too selfish. He gives as an act of unmerited favor because of what Jesus did for us on the cross and doesn’t expect anything in return. Even if our faith is weak, God will grow our faith by answering our prayers if we ask for his help. Prayer does not need to be complicated, a simple thought directed towards God for a worrisome situation is all God needs to answer. We don’t have to figure out how God will answer; we only need to ask for what we are hoping for. We can expect God to answer even if we are angry with him. God will always see us as perfect in Christ and he even answers the prayers of the wicked. Though we may be unsure of what we want, God will never give us something we’ll regret and can find other ways to fulfill our desires if we ask for his will to be done. Growing dependent on God is not a shameful thing, and God made an oath to always show us favor because of what Jesus did for us. There is nothing he expects us to do to earn his blessings, so there is no risk involved for us.
When we ask for little, we receive little. Let’s overcome our hesitations and pray for much so that we will receive much!