Does God forgive us if we struggle to forgive someone? I will show how unforgiveness is a sin like any other and God’s forgave us of all our sins on the cross.
Most of you are familiar with the parable in Matthew 18 about the unforgiving servant.
Matthew 18:23-35 “23 “Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. 24 As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand bags of gold was brought to him. 25 Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.
26 “At this the servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’ 27 The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.
28 “But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins. He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded.
29 “His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it back.’
30 “But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. 31 When the other servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and went and told their master everything that had happened.
32 “Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. 33 Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ 34 In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.
35 “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.””
Who is Jesus talking about in this parable? What judgement does he have in mind?
He is describing what the kingdom of heaven will be like when it comes (Matthew 18:23). This passage is written during a time when animal sacrifies were still the means of forgiveness and just before a looming judgement was about to happen at the fall of Jerusalem. In a very short while, after Jesus’s death, animal sacrifices would become worthless and the temple would eventually be destroyed. If this was written to us today we would understand him to be speaking of Christians who do not forgive. However, like much of the book of Matthew, this passage was written concerning Jews not Christians.
Christians are made up of Jews and Gentiles, but Jesus was exclusively talking to Jews about Jewish matters. Earlier he states, “let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector” (Matthew 18:17). Peter asked Jesus a Jewish question concerning the law. The rabbis at that time taught that forgiving a person more than 3 times was unnecessary based on Amos 1:3-13. Jesus was identifying Peter as a Jew and talking of a judgement that would come upon unbelieving and thus unmerciful Jews.
The unbelieving Jews were like the servant who begged for forgiveness since they had killed God’s prophets. God forgave them their debt. But then these unbelieving Jews turned around and persecuted their servant, us Christians during the 40 year period between Jesus’s death and the fall of the temple. Would God forgive this too?
When God finally judged unfaithful Israel in 70AD, their sacrifices would be useless, they would be condemned because they crucified Jesus, killed his “children” (Matthew 18:6-7), and tempted them to be led astray. Jesus has in mind a passage in Isaiah, in which the animal sacrifices were going to become useless and even offensive to God.
Isaiah 66:3 But whoever sacrifices a bull is like one who kills a person, and whoever offers a lamb is like one who breaks a dog’s neck; whoever makes a grain offering is like one who presents pig’s blood, and whoever burns memorial incense is like one who worships an idol. They have chosen their own ways, and they delight in their abominations;
Just like the master who withdrew his forgiveness from the unmerciful servant, the animal sacrifices would be removed and would no longer forgive the unbelieving Jew.
This parable is not describing the kind of forgiveness we receive in the new covenant:
Hebrews 10:17 “Their sins and lawless acts I will remember no more.”
The Lord’s prayer was written for Jews
Matthew 6:12, 14 and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors….
For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, 15 but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
In these passages, Jesus is also speaking about Jews not Christians (Matthew 15:24). Earlier he says, “And when you pray, do not heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do” (Matthew 6:7) and even earlier in the same setting:
Matthew 5:23-24 So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.
Why would he tell Christians to offer gifts at the alter when later he forbids it after his death? He said this because he was required to fully obey and teach the law (Deuteronomy 11:19) in order to be fully righteous (Matthew 3:14-15). The law stated that forgiveness was necessary:
Leviticus 19:18 “Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against anyone among your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the LORD.”
Jesus wasn’t telling Christians they would be cursed for not forgiving, he was correctly interpreting the old covenant law that had recently become distorted. The same goes for Matthew 7:1.
How the new covenant teaches us to forgive
Colossians 3:13 “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”
The new convenant does teach us to forgive because we have been forgiven. This is the heart of the Christian faith. What right do we have to withold forgiveness from others when Jesus so richly forgives us?
However, the difference between these two passages is the first says you will cease to be forgiven if you do not forgive while the second implores you to out of respect and gratefulness but not with the threat of suddenly being unforgiven.
Does the Bible say God forgives us when we don’t forgive?
I initially thought that the new testament didn’t have much to clarify on this topic but it turns out it does in Romans 2. If we compare Paul and Jesus’s words we see that Paul is saying the same thing Jesus was.
Romans 2:1-5 “You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge another, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things.
…But because of your stubbornness and your unrepentant heart, you are storing up wrath against yourself for the day of God’s wrath, when his righteous judgment will be revealed.”
Those who did not forgive would incur God’s wrath on the day of judgement. But Paul continues this thought. In Romans 3, he argues both the judging Jew and the sinful Gentile are at fault and accountable to God and are justified by his grace when they believe.
Romans 3:22-24 “This righteousness is given through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference between Jew and Gentile, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”
Romans 5:1-2 and Romans 5:9-10 also state we are completely saved from this coming wrath when we believe in him. By faith, both the judging Jew and the sinful Gentile are completely saved from God’s wrath. Even their unforgiveness is forgiven when they believe. It is forgiven just like any other sin.
Romans 5:9-10 “Since we have now been justified by his blood, how much more shall we be saved from God’s wrath through him! For if, while we were God’s enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life!”
You remain forgiven forever
Hebrews also shows us that once we are forgiven we remain forgiven forever. Our sacrifice is final, not perpetual.
Hebrews 9:25 Nor did he enter heaven to offer himself again and again, the way the high priest enters the Most Holy Place every year with blood that is not his own.
Hebrews 10:1 The law is only a shadow of the good things that are coming—not the realities themselves. For this reason it can never, by the same sacrifices repeated endlessly year after year, make perfect those who draw near to worship.
Animal sacrifices could be voided, they only covered us until our next sin, but Jesus’s blood only needed to be offered once because it would cover all sins, past, present, and future. This means it is impossible for you to be unforgiven after Jesus has already forgiven you once and for all
Hebrews 10:10 And by that will, we have been made holy through the sacrifice of the body of Jesus Christ once for all.
James on judgment without mercy
James 2:12-13 “Speak and act as those who are going to be judged by the law that gives freedom, because judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful. Mercy triumphs over judgment.”
James is reminding them of who they are, those forgiven, who will be judged by the law of freedom and will not be condemned while in a short while, a Judgement without Mercy, a euphemism for the judgement of 70AD, would be shown to those unbelieving Jews who were persecuting the weak Christians and not being merciful. The Young’s Literal Translation emphasizes this:
…13 for the judgment without kindness [is] to him not having done kindness, and exult doth kindness over judgment.
James is reminding Christians to act in line with their identity and forgive others so their faith is proven genuine, not like those who would be destroyed.
James 2:24 So you see, we are shown to be right with God by what we do, not by faith alone.
James 2:5 Hearken, my brethren beloved, did not God choose the poor of this world, rich in faith, and heirs of the reign that He promised to those loving Him?
He is not saying we can be unforgiven or that our works justify us. Our works demonstrate that we are God’s people, who have genuine faith and the Holy Spirit within us. Otherwise there would be a contradiction in scripture.
Romans 4:2-3 2 For if Abraham was declared righteous by works, he has something to boast about—but not before God. 3 For what does the scripture say? “Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness.”
We will always be forgiven
We are a people who have been forgiven and will always be forgiven, therefore it should be in our nature to forgive others. God judged the unbelieving Jews who persecuted and judged the weak Christians of that time and He made their animal sacrifices worthless. In the same way, the unmerciful servant had his forgiveness removed. We don’t fall into that judgement because forgiveness in the new covenant is complete and final and not perpetual like animal sacrifices.